THE COST OF PLEASURE

Reading about Diogenes of Sinope has made me think a great deal. Diogenes of Sinope was what we would define as a cynic. Cynicism is a school of philosophy that operates on the belief that people are only interested in themselves, material goods, and are not sincere. It's a somber outlook on the world, but one that definitely has merit. Without diving too deep into the stories of Diogenes, I want to take away one main theme from the recall of his life: living in accordance with nature.

Diogenes was thought to be a little crazy, but in reality, he simply did not conform to the arbitrary standards we've implemented into society as human beings. Human society infused us with all kinds of unnatural desires that are not only obsolete but also prevent us from being happy. It was therefore his belief that we should strip ourselves of these corrupting man-made constructs, so we’re able to live how we’re supposed to live: in accordance with nature. 

He adhered to virtue, reason, and valued only that which matters in life finding it ludicrous to adopt such a meaningless set of practices and thoughts: “Most people, he would say, are so nearly mad that a finger makes all the difference. For if you go along with your middle finger stretched out, some one will think you mad, but, if it’s the little finger, he will not think so” (Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers, Book 6, Chapter 35).

What he's saying is that we've (meaning human beings) assigned the meaning to all of these things that we now in turn get offended at or upset by which, when you think about it, is pretty crazy. We do these things to ourselves. Which brings me to social norms and the blind adherence to them. It's my belief that many of the things people pursue mean very little. Why are people unhappy? Because they're pursuing what they feel has been deemed worthy pursuits--not deemed by themselves, but deemed by those around them. They get a degree so they can get a higher paying job so they can make money to have the things they're convinced that they want. When they fail trying to achieve this, they become deeply unhappy. When they succeed trying to achieve this, they also become deeply unhappy because they realize what little value the very things they believed they wanted, hold. Even worse? People will commit immoral acts to obtain money to buy things they don't actually want to impress people they don't actually like. Diogenes sounds less crazy when you start thinking through it all...

I'll use a (hopefully) relatable anecdote. I have people in my life (yes more than one) who will plan a vacation by themselves or with family, and then I watch them proceed to take on a great deal of stress and anxiety about the entire process each step of the way and never really enjoy the vacation. You probably know individuals like this. This has always baffled me. We deem certain activities fun and relaxing based on societal norms. The world around us has created and continues to market these things to us, but we rarely stop to think about how they really make us feel. We sacrifice a lot for 'pleasure' as it's defined by our peers. But what if you don't enjoy these pleasures? What if the pursuit of them stresses you out more than brings you enjoyment? Then what's the point? This is where knowing yourself is crucial to truly being happy. Another common example I see is drinking to socialize. Many people drink to adhere to social norms when with friends. But many people also don't enjoy the act of drinking, and I guarantee you nobody enjoys being hungover. Yet we'll drink knowing what pain the future holds just because it's what's socially acceptable. This stems from the 'group think' fallacy which we'll save for another time.

I feel we all need a little more Diogenes in our life. Focus on the minimal. Focus on what's truly worth-while which is living in accordance with nature. If the purpose of your pursuit is to bring you pleasure yet brings with it stress and anxiety and an overall negative experience, maybe consider finding something else to pursue.

Stop and ask yourself: at what cost?

~ Bonde